Stories about child sexual abuse are often difficult to hear.
They are also difficult to tell.
And for many survivors, finding the words can take years.
In recordings collected across Florida this month, some survivors are beginning to share those stories, in their own words.
“I was 10 years old when I was abused by a family friend who happened to be our neighbor," said one anonymous woman. "It really changed my life. It wasn’t until I told my best friend at school what was going on… that she told me that this was completely wrong. And right there and then she walked me to the school office. That’s the best thing that she could have done.”
Her story is one of many now being shared, as part of an effort focused on prevention and healing.
For Lauren Book, those voices are at the center of the work.
Book is a former Florida senator and a survivor of child sexual abuse. She’s also the founder of Lauren's Kids, and she's spent most of April walking across the state, meeting survivors, families, and advocates.
“Survivors need… to be seen and heard, to be told that it’s not their fault, to have someone walk alongside them as they go through the process,” Book said.
But she said the system meant to support survivors does not always meet those needs.
“The system itself… can oftentimes revictimize survivors,” she said.
Part of that system includes access to care, including specially trained Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners, known as SANE nurses, who conduct forensic exams.
“Whether it relates to SANE… the special nurses that do rape exams for pediatrics… how we can continue to fix the system around survivors.”
At the same time, she said there is broad agreement on the goal.
“Everyone wants to help kids," Book said. "Everyone wants to create a better system for survivors.”
But prevention, she said, is where the biggest impact can happen.
“One in three girls and one in five boys may become the victim of child sexual abuse before their 18th birthday," Book said. "One out of every five children that touch a digital device… will be solicited for sex online. However, 95% of sexual abuse is preventable with education and awareness.”
That starts with understanding who perpetrators are.
“Ninety percent of children are abused by someone they know, love and trust," she said.
And teaching both children and adults how to recognize warning signs.
“What I can do is educate children… to identify red flags and behavior and how to access help," she said. “I can teach grownups… how to identify behaviors that seem not quite right.”
She said children need clear guidance on what to do next.
“Continuing to tell until you get the two H’s… heard and helped," Book said.
For many survivors, though, that moment of telling does not come right away.
One mother, who wished to remain anonymous said she didn’t learn what had happened until years later.
“My children were teenagers when I realized that something was happening," she said. "They had been abused by their stepbrother for years. They kept it quiet. They felt that they had done something wrong. If you are being abused, please tell somebody. You’re not doing anything wrong. And if you are a mother… please don’t blame yourself… sometimes we just don’t know.”
Another survivor, Susan, said the impact can last decades.
“I was sexually molested by my grandpa when I was five and I was raped by an uncle when I was seven,” she said. “I always felt that it was my fault… I felt that I was a bad person. It’s taken me a long time to realize it wasn’t my fault. No one has the right to hurt you… especially children who can’t protect themselves.”
And even when survivors do speak up, the outcome is not always what they hope.
“There was no justice served in my case… it was his word against mine,” said another woman who wished to remain anonymous.
But she said speaking out still matters.
“The more we talk about it, the less it would happen… children are going to understand that this is something wrong, and they’ll speak up and they’ll have a voice.”
That idea is central to what Lauren Book is hearing across the state.
“Sometimes telling your story and having it heard is all the justice a survivor needs,” she said. “Voices denied is also justice not served.”
And for those who are not ready to speak publicly, she has a message.
“No matter where you are in your journey, you’re okay… you’re a thriving survivor just by existing,” Book said. “It’s okay to tell… and you don’t have to suffer in silence.”
She said there are many ways to engage.
“You could share your story completely anonymously… you don’t have to give us any information. Sometimes… uttering the words for the first time is powerful.”
As the walk makes its way into Northwest Florida, she said simply showing up can make a difference.
“Any way that you choose or feel comfortable to engage… we’re happy to have you,” said Book.
The walk will be in Pensacola on April 22, Milton on April 23, and Niceville on April 24.
If you are in a crisis call 911 immediately. If you need to make a report of suspected child sexual abuse call 1-800- 4 A Child. That’s 1-800-422-4453.
